weather can't make up it's mind around here. Fierce
wind for ten minutes... then dead silence. Pouring rain
for five minutes... then sunlight. I wish it would just
decide already, my laundry basket is filled to the top.
Today I wore my last shirt, the one I hate to wear because
half of it is lightened from leaving it outside on the
deck too long.
hope it storms soon, though. I love storms. I love the lightning,
turning night into day for half a second. I love the the
rumbling of thunder. I love it when it shakes the windows.
I love it when it's so deep and loud you can feel your body
vibrate, it's soothing and comforting in a way (but I'm
just weird like that... I like turbulence in airplanes,
too). It's great. I love the winds. Especially the winds
of the typhoons. I went outside last night, stood outside
my apartment.. just to feel it. That's raw power
right there. All around you. Pure nature, strength, energy.
So many comparisons have been made between the energy of
typhoons and atomic bombs. You can feel it in the wind.
The wind smells so different at these times. Cooler. Sharper.
You can tell it's from far off... Shamans and magicians,
healers and mystics, are said to have listened to the wind
for inspiration, energy, guidance. There's power in the
word from Aya yet. No postcard, no email, no call, no...
nothing! I'm not sure at which point I should
worry... worry or get angry. Odds are nothing happened
to her. Her plane probably did not crash, she probably
is not lost and wandering the streets of Sydney. She
probably did not get murdered. I could have sworn she
said that she would be back on the 28th... could have
sworn. My memory is playing tricks on
me lately; my imagination is running around like a hyperactive
dog chasing it's stubby tail. What if she hooked up
with some six-foot muscular Austrailian surfer?? What
if she's back already, but afraid to talk to me because
that Austrailian guy, whose family she stayed with,
and her got busy?? Man, that would really...
suck. I just want to know, you know what
I mean?? I love surprises, but not these kinds of surprises,
I've had too many in my life already.
would really rather not to call her house because I
think her mom is already suspicious of us and Aya said
that her mom would go ballistic if she found out that
we were dating. If I called looking for her and her
mom answered that could make things more difficult.
with every day that passes I'm getting more frustrated.
Damn! I feel like one of those high-school girls in one
of those cheesy movies saying, "Why won't he call??
Why won't he write?? Boo-hoo!" Poor me, eh?
Haha Well, if she doesn't call in a couple days, then I'm
going to have to call her house and if I bring her mother's
scrutinous glare down upon her (and possibly more restrictions
(is that even possible?)), well, then that's life.
JETs have come, old ones have gone. Someone asked me
recently if I felt old because I'm seeing all these
new faces and seeing old JETs go back to their home
countries. Not really. I don't think so. That's just
the way it goes. Something that my neighbor said the
other week, though, struck a certain disharmonious chord
with me... she made the innocent observation that I
would be 25 in October.
going to be 25. Half my twenties are gone. GONE,
I SAY!! I'm not blazing through a carrer; I'm standing
still. At least I feel like I am. I'm not applying for
grad schools for when I get back to the States next
July, not looking for any jobs. Absolutely no motivation.
Time is running out and if I have to listen to my mother
tell me one more time about how everything happening
in my life is telling me that I should go running back
home I'm going to go freaking bananas.
new JETs seem pretty cool. I was really worried about
Allen, the new JET who belongs to the city. Worried
because he lives right upstairs. But he's a really nice
guy. He's buddhist, big time. Doesn't kill cockroaches,
mosquitoes, and he's a strict vegetarian. That probably
wouldn't be a problem anywhere else, but in a country
where they put fish in everything, even the mayonnaise,
it's a problem. Many Japanese people just can't grasp
the idea that fish is actually meat...
why is that such a difficult concept?? If it comes from
an animal... we'll, that's meat, people! He speaks quite
a bit of Japanese so that makes going out to eat easier.
his first couple of days my neighbor and I took him out
to go shopping. We also went out with some other ALTs a
couple times, but that was over a week ago and I haven't
done anything with them since. Alex is probably pretty busy
because his sister is here visiting for a few weeks, but
tomorrow we're going to go to the shrine which is only two
blocks away, which I've never been to. hehe Weird, the places
you don't go to which are right next door. But I'll see
it tomorrow and take some pictures.
is kind of a big day. The shrine, webworks,
and writing. I'm also going to try to clean this stye
of an apartment and get on top of some bills which have
been piling up for a while (for example, my water bill,
which I haven't paid for at least six months). I've
rested enough, now it's time to get busy. I really hope
Aya calls me or emails me. It's like a splinter in my
mind... driving me mad! (Quick! name that movie!)