August 2, 2000

1:10 am

Right now I'm feeling: worried and/or frustrated

Right now I'm listening to: Kyoko Fukada

Kyoko Fukada : Kirameki no Shunkan

Japanese Houses in
Isao JHS Area

Last night I dreamed:
I worked for a mining company and NASA needed to ship us to the moon for some big project (a la Armageddon), but our launch failed we landed in some remote part of the mainland of the States. Everyone thought it was actually the moon because there were alien Zerg from Starcraft running all around until I pointed out that the moon doesn't have an atmosphere. We ran from the zerg and I ended up in a restaurant where I was attacked by many small plastic dolls which resembled Chucky and the Bride of Chucky. They cursed at me and came at me, and after ripping a few of their heads off, the rest of my crew came in and saw me ripping the heads off of all these dolls and thought I was crazy. That's about where it ended.

Today's obsession is:
The Phillips Expanium! One of the first in a new generation of CD players which can read MP3 data off of a CD!! Imagine... 150 songs per CD on your discman... ahhhh... just makes my mouth wataaah! I'm going to get it as soon as it comes out next week.


The weather can't make up it's mind around here. Fierce wind for ten minutes... then dead silence. Pouring rain for five minutes... then sunlight. I wish it would just decide already, my laundry basket is filled to the top. Today I wore my last shirt, the one I hate to wear because half of it is lightened from leaving it outside on the deck too long.

I hope it storms soon, though. I love storms. I love the lightning, turning night into day for half a second. I love the the rumbling of thunder. I love it when it shakes the windows. I love it when it's so deep and loud you can feel your body vibrate, it's soothing and comforting in a way (but I'm just weird like that... I like turbulence in airplanes, too). It's great. I love the winds. Especially the winds of the typhoons. I went outside last night, stood outside my apartment.. just to feel it. That's raw power right there. All around you. Pure nature, strength, energy. So many comparisons have been made between the energy of typhoons and atomic bombs. You can feel it in the wind. The wind smells so different at these times. Cooler. Sharper. You can tell it's from far off... Shamans and magicians, healers and mystics, are said to have listened to the wind for inspiration, energy, guidance. There's power in the wind...


No word from Aya yet. No postcard, no email, no call, no... nothing! I'm not sure at which point I should worry... worry or get angry. Odds are nothing happened to her. Her plane probably did not crash, she probably is not lost and wandering the streets of Sydney. She probably did not get murdered. I could have sworn she said that she would be back on the 28th... could have sworn. My memory is playing tricks on me lately; my imagination is running around like a hyperactive dog chasing it's stubby tail. What if she hooked up with some six-foot muscular Austrailian surfer?? What if she's back already, but afraid to talk to me because that Austrailian guy, whose family she stayed with, and her got busy?? Man, that would really... suck. I just want to know, you know what I mean?? I love surprises, but not these kinds of surprises, I've had too many in my life already.

I would really rather not to call her house because I think her mom is already suspicious of us and Aya said that her mom would go ballistic if she found out that we were dating. If I called looking for her and her mom answered that could make things more difficult.

But with every day that passes I'm getting more frustrated. Damn! I feel like one of those high-school girls in one of those cheesy movies saying, "Why won't he call?? Why won't he write?? Boo-hoo!" Poor me, eh? Haha Well, if she doesn't call in a couple days, then I'm going to have to call her house and if I bring her mother's scrutinous glare down upon her (and possibly more restrictions (is that even possible?)), well, then that's life.

Come and Gone

New JETs have come, old ones have gone. Someone asked me recently if I felt old because I'm seeing all these new faces and seeing old JETs go back to their home countries. Not really. I don't think so. That's just the way it goes. Something that my neighbor said the other week, though, struck a certain disharmonious chord with me... she made the innocent observation that I would be 25 in October.

Ohhh, shit.

I'm going to be 25. Half my twenties are gone. GONE, I SAY!! I'm not blazing through a carrer; I'm standing still. At least I feel like I am. I'm not applying for grad schools for when I get back to the States next July, not looking for any jobs. Absolutely no motivation. Time is running out and if I have to listen to my mother tell me one more time about how everything happening in my life is telling me that I should go running back home I'm going to go freaking bananas.

The new JETs seem pretty cool. I was really worried about Allen, the new JET who belongs to the city. Worried because he lives right upstairs. But he's a really nice guy. He's buddhist, big time. Doesn't kill cockroaches, mosquitoes, and he's a strict vegetarian. That probably wouldn't be a problem anywhere else, but in a country where they put fish in everything, even the mayonnaise, it's a problem. Many Japanese people just can't grasp the idea that fish is actually meat... why is that such a difficult concept?? If it comes from an animal... we'll, that's meat, people! He speaks quite a bit of Japanese so that makes going out to eat easier.

For his first couple of days my neighbor and I took him out to go shopping. We also went out with some other ALTs a couple times, but that was over a week ago and I haven't done anything with them since. Alex is probably pretty busy because his sister is here visiting for a few weeks, but tomorrow we're going to go to the shrine which is only two blocks away, which I've never been to. hehe Weird, the places you don't go to which are right next door. But I'll see it tomorrow and take some pictures.

Tomorrow is kind of a big day. The shrine, webworks, and writing. I'm also going to try to clean this stye of an apartment and get on top of some bills which have been piling up for a while (for example, my water bill, which I haven't paid for at least six months). I've rested enough, now it's time to get busy. I really hope Aya calls me or emails me. It's like a splinter in my mind... driving me mad! (Quick! name that movie!)

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