Dreams
Usually,
I won't write about my nightmares, other than mentioning
I had some the previous night, but one of last night's
nightmares was unusually fucked up with a lot of bizarre
imagery and details... maybe I should start keeping
a dream journal! I only remember two of my nightmares
from last night. This one occurred between just before
7:15 am this morning.
It
opened up as the "Test Dream". I hate that dream. When
I am sixty years old and my college days are forty years
gone, I'm sure I'll still be having the fucking "Test
Dream".
I
was walking towards a high-school gymnasium where I
would be taking an important college physics test. Outside
the gymnasium was a large statue of my college mascot,
the anteater (can you believe that shit? The founders
picked an anteater… they should be found and shot).
An
old college friend and I walked into the gymnasium,
but inside, the gym was just the size of a small college
classroom, it held about 40 students. The professor
stood in front of the class and gave the instructions.
It was my most hated professor from my college days…
the one who hated me because I was a philosophy major.
He passed out the test.. the test was printed on papyrus.
We
took the test and it was relatively easy. I remember
it taking a long time, though. We walked outside, hung
around, and complained about how badly each of us did.
We walked back in after a while and the professor had
all the tests corrected. When he handed my paper back
with a scowl, it had a small "97%" written across the
top, but all the problems were marked wrong. He said
that everyone who failed had to get out, but I didn't
get out at first. Then he shouted at me to get out (that
fucker), so I left along with a buddy of mine. I
felt so terrible, all the more so because I thought
I'd really nailed that test. (Who hasn't had that
feeling, eh?) That sick, naseous feeling sat in
my stomach and I wondered what I would do.
After
we left the classroom every thing changed. The friend
I had been talking to suddenly vanished. The gym was
gone and the building I had just come out of was the
familiar small trailer in which some of my physics classes
were held. I saw the statue of the anteater had been
replaced by a metal sculpture of a large eagle. There
was a ring of blue fire around the sculpture. There
was a long field of flowers lying out in front of the
classroom with a robed Buddhist monk sitting, his back
facing me, in the field.
I
walked toward him and then around to face him. I saw
the plate in his lap first. It looked clear, like glass
or something. On it was two eyeballs with nerve tendrils
still attached. Fresh blood pooled on the plate. I looked
at his face and stumbled back. Where his eyes should
have been were two gaping holes. He held up the plate
to me, blood dripping off of the plate and his fingers,
and smiled. At this point I started to have trouble
breathing (also a common theme in my dreams). He started
to laugh, but no sound came out of his mouth, or maybe
I just couldn't hear it, I'm not sure.. when I suffocate
in my dreams my vision blurs and blackens and sounds
come through all muffled. I saw purple and black spots
and fought hard to breath, but it was no use. I fell
to the ground and he laughed harder; that horrible,
soundless laugh. I lost consciousness and woke up slowly,
my entire body aching. I was so stiff, just like I am
after I come to from sleep
paralysis (which I also have occasionally).
